My last post was on Christmas Day so I suppose I'm coming back to blogging? I think I am but my focus is changing to I don't know what. I've been floundering this past month due to depression as major life changes have taken over. Actually I've been there before and I can say I am the world's greatest optimistic pessimist.
I have been disheartened while also very grateful for God's interventions. I've been laid off from not one but two jobs in one year. Being a single person my income provides a roof over my head and pays my bills. I really never thought I would lose my job of more than 9 years at the bank. Being an executive assistant I knew too much therefore I was too valuable. I had paid my dues which was why I was well paid with full benefits. Even though others were getting laid off and branches were closing I still believed they needed my knowledge and expertise. Or maybe not. In June they let me go with a very nice severance package causing me to question why loyalty and hard work doesn't necessarily mean a lot.
A few weeks later I had a new job with an accounting firm. I hadn't even sent out the first resume or begun interviewing for jobs mostly because there weren't any being advertised. They called me and even though it was less money, the job came with full benefits. I accepted and started working a few weeks later. I admit it was a rather boring low key job but I was grateful in this economy that I had a job. I know people who have been looking for months and months so how could I complain. I kept being told just wait til tax season started where it would be crazy busy. Sadly, I was laid off in early November along with a few others as they downsized. Even though I was given the full month of November to work there just weren't jobs out there so panic began setting in since this job would provide no severance package. Our normal trip to Atlanta to visit family over Thanksgiving was cancelled because I needed to work through November 29th which would be my last day.
During that last week I received a phone call from a potential employer to set up an interview after the holidays since she was headed out of town. The next few weeks were frightening even as I held to my faith. I made the decision that I would take any job barring waitressing in a restaurant. Pride would not be a factor if I could lose my home.
A few weeks later I was hired to be the Office Manager of a local realty company. I have a decent salary but no benefits. The difference is I can see such potential with this job because I can see the changes I can implement to help the realtors prosper and, best of all, it's going to be the first fun job I've ever had.
We closed for to several weeks at Christmas which hurt my pocketbook but gave me time to recover from a really bad cold, bronchitis, or the flu. I'm not sure which, or if a bit of all, since I self doctored but the others who were sick were diagnosed by their doctors. I didn't decorate, not even a tree, which seemed to help since it was depressing not being able to purchase gifts. We did get to travel to Georgia to visit family which was wonderful and a very dear friend gave me a gift of money which meant I was able to pay all of my bills for the month.
Needless to say this has been one of my worst years in a long time. It's also been a wonderful year because each time I faced a crisis I trusted God who came through for me. I am blessed.
I don't like to share glimpses into my messed up life. There are demons I have faced and conquered from my past. There are residual wounds that still bleed now and then yet I consider myself a survivor. Even with depression and anxieties I have learned to deal and, when I feel I can't, I retreat behind God because I've learned He will protect me from what can't handle. So why would I write this post sharing a difficult year in my life? Because there might be someone going through what I have gone through, someone who needs to know God is near.
So where does all this leave Kirby the Dorkie? Right by my side as this little dog continues to be my confidant, my therapist, and my muse. I love how he can lick the tears from my face and then find a way to make me, if not laugh, then smile. He reminds me to live in the moment and teaches me so much more than I could ever teach him. I know I need to give him more time in the evenings and weekends which is what I've been doing this past month. Can you believe he's already learned three new tricks in just three weeks? He loves to play and training to him is play.
And what about Kirby the Dorkie, the website? My passion has become the recipes I create so I may only post once a week or five times a week depending on what I feel like doing and what time Kirby allows me. There are great bloggers out there who have the passion and the time to run successful blogs with daily posts and valuable information. I salute them but now know that isn't what I want to consume my free time with anymore. I'm excited about the new year even if it will be more concentrated with recipes, reviews, and giveaways but less blog barks from me. I hope you'll join us as we figure out what Kirby the Dorkie will become in 2014.