Writing this blog had become a chore over the past month or so. I began posting pictures with a few words and hooking up to blog hops to fill the days. I felt the need to post on a daily basis yet had little to say. I became overwhelmed with daily life avoiding the job of writing a post. Amid all the pressure and stress I placed on myself, I lost my way. I felt it might be time to end this chapter.
Kirby's Facebook Page has been slowly growing gaining new followers yet with a billion Facebook users I felt it wasn't growing enough. Pages where cute little dogs who spoke baby talk were surpassing us in leaps and bounds. Don't misunderstand, I love reading the posts and seeing the uber cute pictures on some of these pages!
Even though I receive emails from readers people stopped leaving comments here. Yes, fellow bloggers left a comment here and there but they had their own stories to tell. Stories that were much more interesting than mine. Information that was much more helpful than mine. I really began to feel the past few years had been a waste of time. I began to believe I had failed again. Over the last few weeks I seriously contemplated shutting down this blog.
Two different analytics on my site tell me I get an average of a hundred new visitors every day yet my Page Rank has dropped from a 3 to a 2. It didn't bother me so much that very few commented since I read a lot of posts I enjoy without commenting. I use Mailchimp email so I knew every time a blogger I follow unsubscribed. Each one left me feeling rejected.
I designed and coded every part of this website which really turned out quite beautiful even if it is simple. Its easy to navigate. It showcases the Kirbster's personality. But that wasn't the problem. I had to admit the problem is my content really sucks! Other than the Canine Chef's Cookbook I have even bored myself. Where did the fun stuff go? What happened to Kirby's Dorkie Moments? What happened to sharing the precocious things he does that endear him to us in so many ways? Kirby the Dorkie stopped being about Kirby the Dorkie. He is truly my muse yet I stopped sharing him. I let it all become mechanical.
People who interact with him in person just fall in love with him. A picture of him can speak a thousand words just by the twinkle in his eyes or the expression on his face. The camera loves him and he'll do just about anything I ask of him. Sometimes surprising me. Why didnt I write about the time where I grabbed the camera, a bag of treats, and a silk rose planning to teach him to hold it in his mouth. I placed the rose in his mouth, said hold it, and held the clicker. The plan was to get him to hold it a little bit longer each time, then I would click and give him a treat. That never happened because he never let go! I must have taken twenty pictures of different poses and he never let go of that rose!
Or the time at the lake when he was swimming out to me and several kids started swimming towards him calling his name. It was hilarious how he abruptly made a u-turn heading for the shore. Although he looked back a time or two, he never stopped paddling. Or how he swims out to retrieve his toy bringing it further and further into the grass with that look of "are you kidding me" every time we throw it back out. Or the time he was swimming with Grits, a very large lab. We threw Kirbys' toy and a huge stick for Grits out into the lake. Grits got to the toy first and grabbed it. Kirby, not to be outdone, simply swam out much further, retrieved the stick which was larger than him, and upon returning, struggled to bring it out of the water. Or the time in the French Quarter when he suddenly decided to jump into the public fountain for a swim to cool off.
Even Doug, who doesn't like dogs in general, absolutely adores him. I've been blessed with this angel, this little bundle of fur. He behaves, he listens, he learns. He's fearless, he's friendly, he's always eager. He loves to go and see and do. He loves life to the max and brings me along for the ride. He's unbelievably gentle with small children and he is the perfect therapy dog for our fosters, and for me, if I'm being honest. He seems to know and understand my moods often reacting with a snuggle or doing something totally silly just to make me laugh.
Today I have made a conscious decision to go back to the basics which is Kirby. There is so much I have learned from him, about him, and because of him. That's what I am going to start writing about. Even if I only write two or three posts a week it will be enough. My passion is Kirby, canine nutrition, fosters, and how God is directing my life through it all. Somewhere along the way I fell into this huge vortex of all things dog and I lost my voice. Starting today my voice will once again center around a little dog with a big heart.
Honestly, I never for a moment forgot Kirby was my heart dog, I just forgot to share him.